I decided to participate in this cool little questionnaire that another mommy blogger is doing. There’s a few questions I won’t answer since they don’t pertain to me but the rest is awesome! I know I wish I knew more about my dad’s life and thoughts and I’ll never get that chance again. I’d like for my daughter to know about me as more than just her mom and this is a fantastic way to do that. I plan on adding these to my Project Life album as well, since the future is so uncertain and who knows if I’ll have this blog years from now or if the internet will even exist! Anyway, here’s her list of questions to answer, I’ve crossed out the ones I won’t be answering, but still leaving them there in case you’d like to participate too!
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
I’m starting today, so here’s the first one:
20 Random Facts About Me:
1) I love kids, but now that I’m a mom… I don’t like watching other people’s children (except my Bestie’s kids).
2) I’m ridiculously afraid of anything that looks remotely like or is a cockroach; june bugs being high on the list.
3) I hate scary movies, especially 13 Ghosts.
4) I don’t like being late to anything, ever.
5) I can deal with animal health issues but absolutely cannot handle human bodily fluids.
6) 70% of my wardrobe is black. Another 20% is sparkle or sequins and the last 10% is color.
7) My biggest fear is losing people I love. This has already happened when I lost my dad and I wake up every single morning hoping I still have another day with my mom.
8) I could live off Japanese food for the rest of my life if it was possible.
9) I don’t go a day without taking at least ONE photo, even if its just a phone camera photo.
10) I’m an all or nothing kind of person. If I’m going to clean a room, it’s gutted and I start from scratch. If I’m going to give up something, I have to go cold turkey, I can’t just wean myself off.
11) I’m an emotional eater. I always know I’m depressed when I’ve gained 5 lbs in no time.
12) I’m not domestic at all. Anything to do with cleaning makes me want to run & hide.
13) I’m a bit of a perfectionist and never, ever feel like I gave 100%.
14) I always have a tough time falling asleep and staying asleep throughout the night. Come morning, I struggle to get out of bed.
15) When I hear a song I like, I will immediately look up the lyrics and memorize that song.
16) I’m a stomach sleeper. I can’t sleep on my back, no matter how hard I try. Even when I had a huge incision on my belly, I had to sleep in a awkward side position with pillows propping me.
17) As a kid, I went through many “what to be when I grow up” moments; an astronaut, race car driver, pediatric nurse, a cop & veterinarian. I’m now going to school to be a Vet Tech.
18) Public speaking & being the center of attention makes me nauseous.
19) I played the cello for a very short time in elementary school. I quit because I can’t hear low tones and therefore I sucked at it.
20) I love road trips and I’m always planning the next one in my head.
I really hope that I wake up early enough tomorrow to take pictures of the undisturbed snowy ground. There’s something so magical about it, the way it glitters in the light, blinds your eyes with such a perfect white. There’s nothing else like it. I don’t like driving in it, I don’t like shoveling it and I REALLY don’t enjoy it when it puts a damper on my plans or causes chaos in my home… but when I get to just enjoy it’s beauty before it turns into a pile of slush… that’s awesome. So self: if you’re paying attention, set your internal alarm clock to about 6-7am, throw on a hoodie and some boots and get out there to take some photos.
Speaking of snow. Tomorrow is a snow day. I don’t have to attend school. I get to stay at home with my girl and soak up a whole day of being a couch potato! Oh… who am I kidding! I’ll get cabin fever and throw some warm clothes on, dress the girl in a snow suit and probably head outside. Assuming it isn’t white conditions… which there’s a good chance of that too. For my sanity’s sake, I hope Mother Nature turns off the wind and we can play in the snow for awhile. Cooped up toddler equals boredom, which leads to getting into trouble and major melt downs. So. Not. Fun.
I started Project Life last week and I think I have found a new addiction! Not only is it fun, completely easy, stress free and so customizable… but I’m taking more pictures!! I made a goal last week that I would take a photo every day of the week, even if it was just ONE photo, so I had something to put on the Project Life weekly spread. I not only accomplished that goal, but I shattered it! I took about 3-6 pictures each day! I’m more aware of my surroundings and find myself noticing the beauty in the everyday things I used to take for granted. Now I see something and immediately try to figure out how I can capture it on camera! I took a picture of my finished spread but I did so with my phone and the quality is crappy. I’ll take a better one to post another time.
For now, I think it’s time to dream some sweet dreams. I’ll never wake up at a decent hour if I don’t go to bed at one! Goodnight.
This year, music seems to be high on the top of my list of passions. Normally, I can go a whole year (minus Cheyenne Frontier Days) without attending any concerts. This year though… not the case.
Concert Line-up (so far):
– Retro Jam on April 19th. This concert is going to take me back to my childhood; Coolio, Salt N’ Pepa, Doug E Fresh & Slick Rick! Mostly I’m going because umm… hello… COOLIO! He’s the COOLEST! 😉
– Alex Clare on May 2nd. So he’s sort of a newer artist in my list of musical choices but I can listen to his hit song “Too Close” on repeat and NEVER get sick of it. ❤ Pretty excited for this, I’m actually expecting it to be a pretty low key concert, so I’ll be surprised if it ends up being crazy.
– Rascal Flatts on July 25th. I’ve seen them in concert a couple times already and they never disappoint. Yes, most of their music is sappy and romantic (which I am NOT) but Gary LeVox has a voice that is absolutely gorgeous!
– Maroon 5 on September 24th. I am SUPER excited about this one for a few reasons. 1. ADAM LEVINE!!! No other words needed for this one. 2. VIP tickets!!!! Again, no explanation needed. 3. Probably the best part, it’s a girl trip! My bestie and our awesome moms are going!!
– Voodoo Music Experience in New Orleans November 1-3. I’m both excited and nervous about this one. I’ve never done anything like this before and I’m going with my BROTHER! I have no doubt that we will have fun… but… for lack of a better description, it reminds me of a modern day Woodstock! We sleep in a tent. I’m not even sure where we shower. We can’t bring much and nothing too expensive since tents are not exactly secure. We attend concerts from 9 am until 11 pm every day for three whole days. It’s basically a non-stop party for three full days. We don’t know who is in the lineup this year but last year, artists like Metallica and Skrillex were on the schedule. I plan to skip some of the uninteresting concerts and go spend some quality time in the French Quarter. I LOVE New Orleans and can’t wait to soak it all up again.
So that’s it for now… I know that’s NOTHING compared to some people but for me… that’s a lot of freaking concerts. I’m excited about all of them and especially excited about taking pictures at all of them and finally documenting them in my Project Life album!
I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and most of it isn’t good. I’ve felt selfish and even jealous when, in reality, my life is pretty damn near perfect. I’ve fallen off the diet bandwagon, hello emotional eating frenzy! Thankfully, I haven’t gained any more weight, but I’m certainly not losing anything either. I can’t seem to wrap my head around the current events and how they really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things… why? This too shall pass, right? I always say that to people going through tough times, why the hell can’t I cement that in my own brain NOW!?? I think I just need a few days to organize my thoughts and weed out all that negative crap that keeps creeping in. Hoping this weekend and the Easter holiday will help with that. I know I’ll feel better in a few weeks when it all smooths back out and I’m not longer obsessively THINKING about it all.
In the mean time, I’ve decided to try out a new project… I know… I know… I am the QUEEN of projects… or unfinished projects anyway but seriously though! I’ve missed scrapbooking but being the mom to a very active 3 year old AND going to school AND the never ending animal chores (not complaining, just listing), I lack the time to actually sit down and scrapbook pretty pages like I used to. I’m so behind in my daughter’s scrapbooks it’s overwhelming to think about it. Here’s my idea… and I hope it works out well for me, because it would ROCK to be able to keep up with her scrapbooks… I’m going to try out Project Life!! I ordered a kit and it arrived in the mail today! Basically, it’s scrapbooking but without all the stress of pretty layouts and cutting, pasting, etc. You just journal on a card, pick some photos, memorabilia that’s flat or somewhat anyway and slip them into the little pockets!! Sounds easy, right? The hardest part will be picking the photos and deciding what to write on the journaling card.
I’m so excited to try it out but I promised myself I wouldn’t let it become a stressful project…. it’s supposed to be fun and hopefully force me out of my rut with my camera too. This is my girl’s life and she’s my only baby, so I feel like I NEED to make sure her life is well documented! She’ll thank me someday and hopefully know that I’m completely in love with her and want the best for her despite the failed relationship with her father.
Speaking of that… I finally went to do my taxes last night… I hate taxes and the IRS and all things related to the subject. Just walking into a tax prep place gives me hives!! So I’m explaining to the lady how my financial situation is complicated right now and going through all the questions about single, married, kids, head of household, not claiming my kid, etc. UGH! Once we’re finishing up, she asks me if I’m happy to be divorced. I’m not sure why that question shocked me, maybe because she’s simply filing my taxes for me, and not my therapist? Anyway… I must have looked shocked because she felt the need to explain why she asked; because some people are actually THRILLED to be divorced, but she thought I looked sad. Uh… I wouldn’t say I’m over the moon happy about it but I’m certainly glad it’s over. Being married to someone who isn’t a nice person & has the maturity of… I’d say newborn but I’m pretty sure my daughter was more mature at three days old. As soon as I got back in the car, I had to fight the urge to cry. Not because I’m sad and miss my ex, but because I can’t believe I convinced myself to be in a relationship with the wrong person from the very beginning. I guess this could explain why I have zero interest in dating again… the mere IDEA of making the same mistake twice weighs heavily on my heart and I don’t want to do something that could break my daughter’s heart… twice.
Like I said, I’m a mess right now. Didn’t I warn you already? Yet, you kept reading!! Thanks for reading/listening/existing… I’m going to go watch Phineas & Ferb while my girl takes her nap.
Before I even get started… have you seen that pistachio commercial where PSY sings and dances with dancing pistachios? If you have… one question, what is this world coming to? If you haven’t… spare yourself the wasted time and change the channel as soon as you notice it’s on. I think I stared at my TV in complete disbelief for several minutes after the commercial had ended… long enough for my daughter to come up and smack me on the leg saying “MOMMY! YOU NEED TO HEAR ME!”. Yeah. Just. Yeah.
Anyway, I don’t really feel like I have a lot to talk about right now… hazards of being a stay at home mom who’s only social life consists of college classes and Facebook. Unless, of course, you count talking to a three year old all day.
I’m back at my weight loss plateau, which just goes to show one should ALWAYS lose the weight when they’re younger… it seems like 30 is the magical number for metabolism working at a snails pace! I’m not going anywhere though, I’m still doing this and still focused on my goal. I downloaded a new elliptical workout app today and tried it. Seven minutes into it, I thought I was going to die… SEVEN MINUTES! So either I’m extremely out of shape (more than I thought) or that workout app is put out by people who like torture… or death. I’m not sure. I’ll try it later on… maybe.
As promised, here’s some of the meals I’ve made the last few days and links to check them out for yourself.
First up, Asian Flank Steak. This turned out really good and I used my George Forman grill to cook the steak. I roasted broccoli with salt and pepper as a side, which happens to be one of my favorite sides ever. I also whipped up some creamy horseradish to dip the steak in. SO GOOD! Even with the low sodium soy sauce, these suckers were pretty salty but I’d make them again.
Next, Cilantro Lime Tilapia Tacos! Before this, I used to eat fish tacos deep fried with guacamole, pico, sour cream and loads of other fattening toppings. I was super excited when I found this recipe and even more so when I tried it and it is delicious!
Tonight I made Smoky Spice Rubbed Grilled Salmon with Black Beans and Corn. Yet another winner! The salmon had the perfect amount of spice to it and still super moist, considering it was grilled. I made a small change to the black beans and corn mixture by adding a jalapeño to the mix, because… well… I like it spicy. It turned out great!
All three of these recipes are worth trying! Tomorrow night I’m making a (spicy) shrimp dish which I’m looking forward to already!
My spring break is almost over, which is slightly depressing since I’m not looking forward to math homework again BUT (always a but), I am in desperate need of some adult interaction ASAP! Plus, the drive to and from Ft. Collins makes for some nice, (usually) peaceful moments where I can hear myself think… something I took for granted until my kid learned out to talk. 😉 Love her anyway.
I’m a creature of habit, I love routines. Every morning, I wake up to my daughter telling me she’s ready for her morning sippy cup of milk and cartoons. I get up, I let the dogs outside, get her milk, turn on cartoons, make our breakfast, and immediately plop down on the couch to read through emails, check facebook, instagram and my Lose It app. Lately I’ve been thinking about how to switch up my morning routine to make it a little more healthy and a little less lazy. I’m also not a morning person, at all. My daughter normally wakes up around 7am and that’s too dang early for my liking but I’ve become accustomed to lack of sleep and being on a toddler’s schedule. I’d prefer to be able to work out before she even wakes up but that would require me to be awake at 6am or earlier. UGH! The thought of that makes me cringe! Any suggestions for early rising and still managing to avoid murder charges?
Last night was rough, my girl hardly slept due to coughing and I spent most of the night checking to see if she was breathing when she finally fell asleep. Which brings us to today… so. glad. it’s. over. We both woke up in crappy moods and I finally decided to take her to the doctor and have this virus checked out. I’m not sure why I always feel the need to do this when the response is ALWAYS the same. Nothing they can do. So no sleep, coughing, wheezing, gagging, etc… just deal with it. So I’m doing the only thing I can think to do, turn on the humidifier in her room, give her warm water with honey, a nebulizer treatment and hope for the best tonight. Today was one of those days where I stood in the grocery store wondering what possessed me to think I could handle this motherhood thing. Between being sick and exhausted, she was pushing every button I have and leaving me worn out. I often wonder if life would be different if her father was actually worth his title. If I was still married and life was good and I had the chance to get that much needed mama break. Instead, I’m doing this on my own and realizing just how far to the edge I can be pushed… by a 3 year old, no less. I love my life and I certainly don’t have a lot to complain about but dang it! Some days are just a little harder than others.
I really hope that the weather tomorrow is better and the wind dies down. I know some outdoor time would do her some good and certainly help keep the peace between us. A nice walk and some park time would be a huge bonus to my day but Wyoming weather puts everything on hold until the second you plan to do it. We shall see. If I don’t get my wish, I guess we’ll be heading to the mall for our walk instead.
I know tonight’s post wasn’t too cheery and full of up beat pep talk but that’s just how my day went and I needed to write it all down. Now that I’ve done that, I guess I’ll take my butt to bed and hope for a better tomorrow!
This has been one heck of a winter. My girl has been fighting every illness it seems. As soon as she has recovered from one, another one sneaks up on us. I feel so bad for her. She has missed more pre-school in the last few months than she ever has and I know it makes her sad. I wish I could make an invisible bubble for her to walk around in and all the germs hit the surface of the bubble and stayed the hell away from her. I realize I should count my blessings, since she is an otherwise healthy child who’s only major issues are gag reflex and asthma but I’m a mom and therefore I’m constantly wishing for health and worrying when she’s sick. Last night she stayed with her grandma and great grandma… I got a call around midnight that she needed a nebulizer ASAP. I was taking a bath when it happened and I don’t think I’ve ever rinsed the shampoo out of my hair and thrown pj’s on so quick in my life. Forget conditioner and shaving my legs… my baby was in need of a breathing treatment!! Adventures of motherhood, right?
I’m so ready for spring! I seriously started yelling at the sky today when I saw snowflakes falling. Ridiculous right? Like Mother Nature actually gives a hoot what I think! I wouldn’t mind rain… we NEED the moisture but seriously ready for some less windy and bitter cold days. A few days ago, I convinced my mother to do the c25k with me and we decided to do it outside… in the cold. My lungs hated me… I’m pretty certain that if they could talk, they would have been screaming obscenities at me! At one point, my chest hurt so much, I was struggling to breathe and I was seeing flashing red/yellow/orange lights! I’m pretty sure that’s a HUGE sign that a. I’m insanely out of shape, b. my lung capacity is crap, c. I need to avoid running in the cold air and d. asthma SUCKS! Lesson learned, I’ll be sticking to indoor treadmill/elliptical routines until the weather is nice enough to take it back outdoors. If you’re listening, Mother Nature, please, please, please bring on the warmer weather… and less wind would be nice too.
My Grandma was in town for several days for a couple reasons. I needed a babysitter for my girl while I went to class on thursday and I could NOT miss class since it was test day and also because my mother’s birthday was St. Patrick’s Day! I love my Grandma but I feel a sense of relief after she’s gone because it seems like all we do is EAT! This wouldn’t be so bad except it’s so hard to count calories when every meal is at a not-so-innocent restaurant. I didn’t screw up too horribly but I certainly didn’t stay within my goal. Back on track tomorrow! I’m falling short of my goals lately and that really bugs me… I obsess over it and drive myself insane beating myself up over it. I’m hoping the scale will relieve some of this stress by the end of the week. I need some kind of noticeable proof to keep me motivated.
Soo… random topic. I have a horse. He was my Aunt’s horse and before she passed away, she asked me to take him. He’s a sweet boy and I adore him to pieces but I have one huge problem. I’m ridiculously afraid of horses. Yup. Their size and their intelligence freaks me the hell out. I don’t mind being in the same space with him and I can groom him, halter him, etc…. I just can’t ride him. I can tell he knows I’m a little scared of him and although he’s not mean about it, he certainly takes advantage of it. My goal this summer is to conquer that fear. I’m going to buy a saddle and I’m going to ride him. Just typing that made my heart pound and my head say “Uhh… WTF!?” I’m a country girl, I’ve always been near horses and watched people enjoy horseback riding. However, the few times I’ve done it… I’ve spent the entire time in a state of panic and fear that I was going to either fall off or be bucked off. So besides my other goals, this one has a deadline, by the end of the summer, I’d like to be completely over my fear of riding him.
I’ve been missing old relationships lately. I’m not entirely sure why since there’s perfectly valid reasons for not continuing said friendships. Maybe I’m just being nostalgic or something… which usually doesn’t occur until fall (I’ve actually looked back at previous journals and noticed that I spend more time thinking about the past in Sept/Oct/Nov than any other time of the year). Either way, it has been a strange week of thinking back on good and bad times. Some I wish I could actually shove in a little box and throw OUT of my memory but they serve as a lesson I suppose.
I guess I should quit rambling and go switch out the laundry, feed the dogs, check on my kiddo and kick the cats (kidding). I’m making a menu for the week with some new recipes and I promise I will share the ones that turn out yummy.
I’m not a half-asser. My life is a series of obsessions. Literally. I can’t just clean a room, I have to gut it and start from scratch. Everything ends up in the hallways, etc. I’m a borderline hoarder; I collect stuff! My collections aren’t small, they’re out of control. From NYC memorabilia to cameras, both new and old and skull decor. I even become obsessive about my daughters toys… if she likes something, she ends up with every single item from that line of toys. If I become passionate about something… there’s no stopping me. I review every detail, I spend hours upon hours researching the topic, I think about it constantly… I even DREAM about it.
My point is… I cannot half-ass anything. People can’t come to my house unless it’s spotless (minus my mother and bestie). I can’t go to a party without the proper amount of makeup and hair primping. Speaking of parties… I have no idea how to do a small little get together. If I’m throwing a party, shit is OUT. OF. CONTROL. Obsessive.
That brings me to my weight loss journey. I started this journey two months ago and I’m already down 17.8 lbs. Now I’ve hit this weird little plateau and it’s driving me BONKERS! I’ve done my research, I’ve consulted friends who’ve achieved their goals, I’ve even religiously monitored my intake of certain foods, drinks, etc. I’m not a fan of waiting… it’s that impatience gene in me. I like instant results and that’s not something that comes with weight loss.
Right now, I feel like this is me giving myself a little pep talk. I can do this… I will effing do this. I do NOT want to be in the same boat as my father. I realize that ultimately, my fate is not something I choose and only God knows when and how I’ll go but if I can take the necessary steps to avoid a heart attack at an ungodly young age… I’m doing it. I don’t want to leave behind a child who needs me… literally NEEDS me. So I guess I’m doing it for her too.
I started the Couch 2 5k program a week ago. So far, I’ve managed to do it without pausing or starting over. It’s hard. I can’t believe I used to love running and did it without much effort and now I feel like I’m going to pass out after 20 minutes of walk/run intervals. So out of shape, it’s ridiculous. I’m considering adding a Jillian Michaels DVD in there for those days in between. I tried them once and didn’t make it through 5 minutes of it BUT I wasn’t dedicated. I am now. I did my Couch 2 5k program on my elliptical today. KILLER! Not nearly as hard on my feet since there’s no impact but K-I-L-L-E-R! Lily goes with her dad this weekend and I’ve convinced my mother to try the program with me. We’re going to do it tomorrow. Here’s hoping she can do it and doesn’t chicken out on me. I’d love a running buddy.
Yesterday, I signed up for my first ever Color Run! SO EXCITED!!! It lands on Father’s Day which originally was a turn off and I decided not to do it but why the hell not? Lily will be with her dad and my dad isn’t here to celebrate with so…. I’m doing it. If anything, I can do it for him! I think he’d be proud of me… possibly think I’m nuts but proud nonetheless. I’ve convinced my mother to go but she swears she’s walking the whole thing. 😉 We’ll see. My friend Jodi is also going, I don’t know if she’ll run it but I’m certain it’ll be me trying to catch up with her! She’s ridiculously athletic and in amazing shape!
I have approximately 75 more pounds to go and I’ll hit my goal. Here’s to a summer filled with running (hopefully), bike rides & swimming! Someone give Mother Nature the memo that I’d like her to shut off the wind! Thanks! 😉